I think there are four groups of parents, when it comes to this question. The first one would say: "No, I would never do it!" The second group would say: "No, I would love to do it, but cannot imagine being without my children" The third group would say: "Yes, we often do it, and don't mind leaving my children at home" and the last group would say:" Yes, we do it, but worry about my children when away from them".
Which one would you fit it? I have to say that I always thought I wouldn't be able to leave my Isabelle at home or with family and go on holidays, but I do, not very often, but I do it. The first time I left Isabelle with my mum overnight was when she was 3 months old and we went to my friend's wedding. It was the first time and I didn't sleep much that night. The first holidays we had without Isabelle was when she was almost two and went skiing to Austria and she stayed for 5 days with my parents. I have to admit I missed her very much and called her every day. Since then occasionally I leave her for two nights when visiting my friends in Prague, but the longest ever was 5 days. In two weeks time we are flying to Barbados for 10 days. I thought about it a lot before booking the holiday, but have to admit that I trust my parents and my family 100% which makes it much easier to leave her there and go on holidays. It is easily said, but I am sure I will miss her very much. Is it worth the stress? I don't know, this is going to be the first time we will be away for 10 days, not in Europe... the closer the departure date gets the more worried I get. Of course I am very excited about this holiday, also think my husband deserves it as he works very hard and has a very stressful job...also maybe baby number two will come soon, so to be honest I think this is the last time to have a real romantic sunny holiday we used to have before having Isabelle. It might sound very selfish to some of you, but that's just us. When I told my mummy friends, nobody was against it, but most of them said they would love to do that, but probably never will. I hope this holiday will be great and also hope Isabelle will enjoy herself spending some time with her cousins and family in the Czech Republic.
I create a fifth category - would love to do it but live thousands of miles away from any family member and don't have sitters. (Probably wouldn't leave a babysitter in charge anyway.)
ReplyDeleteIn the 20 years we've been married my husband and I have never had a holiday without the kids. We sometimes take separate mini breaks with guy/girl friends, but it's just not feasible to leave three kids and a dog with a relative stranger. (Not to mention the expense.)
When people used to tell me that I "should travel" with my husband occasionally, it used to really make my blood boil.
Oh interesting! I never really thought about what group I'd be in until I had my first, and realised that no-one was going to help us. So, through not having help and then it becoming a habit, we're not left our children. Not even for a night. Our eldest is just over 5.
ReplyDeletewe are leaving them for the first time overnight in a few months with my mother in law. I'm not worried. I'm OVER THE MOON. We so need a break and I hope this is the beginning of us starting to leave them.
I couldn't really have imagined leaving them when they were much younger to be honest, neither were good sleepers. And I didn't think it was fair to inflict that on others.
Then my Dad said he woulnd't have them until they were both potty trained, and that wasn't until a few weeks ago.
It does make me raise my eyebrows when I see other parents leaving very young babies with grandparents for holidays, long ones, from an early age. But then I remember it's none of my buiness!!
Enjoy your break! xx
Thank you ladies for commenting, this makes it a bit easier for me. It's very hard for us too, as no family around here in England that we could leave Isabelle with, so have to fly to the Czech Republic. I agree that it gets a bit easier as they get older ;)
ReplyDeleteI think we ae pretty lucky. When JJ was just under 1 we went to Dominica for a week aloen and loved it. We needed it, we may not of still been here as a family if we had not dedicated that time to our marriage.
ReplyDeleteThen in recent years we tend to go away for 2 nights just someone in the UK and have timeto be us.
My Mum and Dad have promised we can have a week aborad alone next year when they have retire. I can not wait!
I miss the kids, but not enough not to go.
Mich x
I hope you will have a chance to go soon, I think we all deserve it ;)
ReplyDeleteGreat article and an even better question!
ReplyDeleteI guess our family would fall in the last group... however, it really depends on the type of holiday and who's watching our son.
When our son was a baby, it was easier to leave him for a night or 2 at my in-laws. Sometimes we wouldn't even go anywhere, but my in-laws offered to help out so we could catch up on sleep! They absolutely adore him (first grandchild!) and they were only 20-mins down the road anyway. Our first 3 holidays (1 to Finland and 2 to Spain) were with our baby, and all before the age of 8 months old.
Our first holiday alone was when he was 8-9 months old. He was easier to care for at this stage, was sleeping most of the night and was on formula. As we never had the chance to have our honeymoon, my in-laws encouraged us to go for it and they would watch him as they loved having him. It was a gift from them, they paid for everything, and we went to South Africa for our 'honeymoon'. And BOY, WAS IT HARD.
At first we were anxious to get away. Even on the flight we were happy to be able to get some rest. But once we arrived, saw our holiday flat, saw the ocean, and other families enjoying the sun, we wished we'd brought him with us. Since then we decided that we couldn't ever leave him, and have taken him with us.
Now he's in his terrible 2, and the in-laws are living in Australia, so we have NO help or family around anymore. Also, the in-laws are not as 'energetic'. My parents however are still quite young and can keep up with him even at this 'naughty' stage. So now things really depend on the situation itself. If we were in Aus and would like to do a road trip, we couldn't leave him with the in-laws for more than 2 nights at most, as they get tired very quickly. But if we were in Spain (where my parents are based), we could easily leave him for a week, and know that they wouldn't get tired. But... we'd really miss him.
You're very lucky to have someone who can look after your child who you can trust so make the most of it while you can. We don't have any family willing to babysit and none of our friends either (none of them have kids yet so they don't realise what it's like!). We (me and hubby) haven't had any time together since Nipper was born (over 4 years ago). We didn't even get our wedding night alone!
ReplyDeleteWe are very lucky that my in-laws are reasonably near, so can look after kids whenever we need to go away. We haven't really left them and gone on holiday as such,as I would like them to be with us for that but we have left them quite a few times when we had to go away for work. When they were babies, I asked in-laws to stay at ours when we were away as easier with cots, bottles, child-proofing etc. but now when they are 3 years old they help me pack their suitcases and off they go. I miss them when we are away but i don't really feel bad or worry as I know in-laws are fully capable and kids love being there. Besides, I do believe it is good for kids to be away from me every now and then as they get to learn to be more independent (or get more spoilt....but that's a different post all together).
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